Is your child on the right track?

Let me begin with two different stories. There was a girl whose parents were very scared of the criminal activities of the world, and wanted to protect their girl. Like every parent they wanted their daughter not to get influenced by the so-called bad activities of the society and wanted to keep her safe from unsafe elements of the society. And so they kept a bodyguard for her. So, wherever she went, there went this heavy-built boy keeping a track of her every activity. But the girl was frustrated, she wanted her own life, her own space, and hated this person always sticking by her side. She was safe, but one-day, when she was at a lonely place, with nobody, but that guy (meant for protecting her), the girl not having any adult education, started to explore all the sexual pleasures with the body-guard only, and one-day, the boy left the job, leaving the girl three months pregnant behind!

The other story, tells about another common girl, a college going teenager, who liked to party, to drink, have boyfriends, and have all sorts of fun. But, was intelligent enough to know-what she’s doing can harm her or not. Her parents were a bit open-minded, and never minded these activities of their daughter. But they always, taught her how wrong path can she take - if she’s not careful. Dinner table discussions used to take place at her home - and that was, too, a fun-time for the girl, as she used to discuss each and every activity of hers with her parents. One day, her boyfriend tried to misbehave with her, and she instantly knew how to handle, she called up police, and the matter was solved. She wasn’t afraid of anything coz she knew the parents are there to give full support.

In the recent Arushi murder case, it was blamed upon her parents that they did not have a check upon her - but tell me - if she was outside her home, just out on a normal school day, won’t the incident had happened then? Are parents really the one to be blamed?

So, what do we get? What’s the best way we can protect our children from harmful elements of the world and to stop them indulging into crimes or even bad addictions of any sorts? Should we keep a tracker attached to our children, 24 hrs, just to keep them safe? Is it the right way to protect them?

The answer is probably, yet to be found out. In our Indian tradition, earlier, it was an easier game, cos then girls were kept at home, and boy, too had his restrictions, and moreover, who had so many pubs and discos to flaunt around in the city? But now it’s a different case altogether. Now you can’t stop your daughter to go and have some fun with her college friends. This is their world and this is their routine. So what do you do to keep them safe as well as happy?

“Its in the human nature to do the thing you’re told not to do.” So when a parent decides to teach his/her child, what’s right or wrong, and brings restrictions to the child’s life, child, obviously, would love to engage into every activity marked as ‘wrong’. But what if they don’t even know what’s ‘wrong’ for them? So the best way - ‘tell them that the fire is hot - and then, let them touch and experience the heat themselves!’, i.e., just tell them what can harm them, and then they are the soul riders of their life. As humans, they have been gifted enough of brains to analyze this.

Ok! Here are some of the quotes of parents (Indian) who were asked what to do to keep their children safe, when they are outside home and away from their eyes.

Parent 1: “Its very necessary to always know were they are by calling them and to know what they are doing. They are not yet mature enough to judge themselves and this world.”

Parent 2: “ Its just about having faith in your child and in your preaching. Rest the kid is intelligent enough. Just keep a friendly relation.”

Parent 3: “We can’t just let them fall into a pit. We are parents and they should respect our experience and should follow what we say. Sometimes, its okay to get harsh too - coz nowadays, its really easy for kids to get spoilt.”

So, who’s children can be actually put into the ‘right track category’, or in other words, whose children are the safest?

As far as I think, its parent 2: coz, he’s the one who shows the danger to child, yet if the child deliberately, takes danger as fun, the parent is always there to solve the problem before it comes, and more remarkably, on a friendly basis. This parent also gives a chance to let the child take decisions on its own as an individual.

Whereas other parents are just concerned about their own point of view but the child’s psychology.

I went through a recent example of a suicide-story in a newspaper recently, and that would prove my point clearly enough. There was this girl, around 18-19, who loved a boy of her age, and her father caught the whole story. Father decided to bring the kids together, and he very nicely, just told the boy not to meet the girl again and concentrate on his studies. He did not, once, talk to his own daughter. And the consequence - daughter took out father’s licensed revolver and shot herself dead!The thing to be learnt is ‘people, they are not kids- they are individual humans!’